Category: THE 2019 SEASON

Preseason Record 1-0 Regular Record 0-0

WEEK 4: BILLS VS PATRIOTS

Will the Pats have lost 2 of their 3 first games as they always do? Will Gronk be back? Who’s bringing the sex toy?

WEEK 5: BILLS @ TITANS

Tennessee is as hard to spell as Mississippi. Thanks to the gods we only need to go to Nashville.

WEEK 7: BILLS VS. DOLPHINS

Time for a meeting with the Fins. It sucks not playing them in the snow….but it is October in Buffalo.

WEEK 8: BILLS VS EAGLES

Carson Wentz should be injured and out for the season by now and back-up QB Nathan Peterman is ready to lead the Birds back to the Super Bowl. Hey. It could happen.

WEEK 9: BILLS VS REDSKINS

Yay! It’s the Culturally Insensitive game. Why don’t they just switch their logo to a Potato? Wait for it…ahh. You get it.

WEEK 10: BILLS @ BROWNS

Cleveland is the new Buffalo! Or is Buffalo the new Cleveland? Either way, neither is St. Louis and that is a good thing.

WEEK 11: BILLS @ DOLPHINS

South Florida in the middle of November. Meh. On the bright side, shootings dip when the weather gets cooler.

WEEK 13: BILLS @ COWBOYS

The last time the Bills played on Thanksgiving, I ate turkey. I have on other Thanksgivings too but just sayin’. Oh yeah, stay home for this one and watch with loved ones and annoying people called “family.”

WEEK 14: BILLS VS. RAVENS

Elite QB Joe Flacco…okay. I said I’d stop but I just can’t. Lamar Jackson is no Joe Flacco.

WEEK 15: BILLS @ STEELERS

Finally met a person from Pittsburgh that I liked but not enough to not use her Terrible Towel to wipe my butt.

WEEK 16: BILLS @ PATRIOTS

Mispronouncing names is fun. I like to call The BILLIE’s wife Gihzalay Bookohdamn. If he is a goat then she must just be a Nanny.

WEEK 17: BILLS VS. JETS

Hmm. Let’s look at the Bills Wildcard scenarios…beat the Jets, the Browns need to lose or tie, Canadians need to stop saying “eh,” and the Montreal Alouettes must admit Marv Levy was only coach of the Bills.